The Wal-mart Story

Alright, several people have asked about the "Wal-mart Bathroom Mix-up." I am not very good at writing so I am sure this story will sound boring when I write it.

Have you ever had one of those moments in your life that even years later you can recall every detail? This was one of those times for me. I even remember what I was wearing which is amazing seeing that I cannot remember what I was wearing today!

I was down at Mom's house for a visit. Brad and I had to run to wal-mart to pick up something and I had to go pee. I had been at the pool all day so my eyes were all red from the chlorine and I did not have on my glasses (this is the only excuses I have for my stupidity). I walked back to the bathroom following a man who went to the door on the left so I automatically went to the door on the right. I walked straight in and walked to the back of the bathroom where the stalls were and went pee. While I was peeing I heard someone come in the door. They were whistling I immediately realized the tone was too deep to be a female. I thought to myself, what the heck is this idiot doing in the girls bathroom. By this time I am done peeing, so I peek under the stall and his feet are facing the wall. For one brief second I thought this guy was peeing in the sink and then, FINALLY, my light ball comes on and I realize that I am the idiot in the wrong bathroom.

This realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I had asked myself when I came in the bathroom why the heck they would have so many sinks with only two stalls. I would love to say that my eye sight is so bad that they looked like sinks without my glasses but that would be a lie. I never really looked just headed straight for the stall. Public bathrooms really freak me out so I try not to do much sight seeing.

So here I am in the boys bathroom and this guy is out there peeing. I decide I better wait for him to leave because he is just standing at a urinal and I did not want to see ANYTHING!!! That man peed like Tom Hanks in "A League of Their Own," which was forever. So right as this guy is about to leave a man and boy come in so now I have to wait on them.

Let me give you a little mental picture of what I am doing in this stall. I am so afraid that someone may figure out that I am there so I am on the far side on the toilet so that no one will see my feet. I am also trying very careful to hold my body just right so that no one can see through the cracks in the door. I was in my hiding place just praying that the place would clear out. After all it was clear when I went in, other wise I would have realized my mistake right away and left...

Before the boy and his father leave another person comes into the bathroom but this time he comes to the stall next to me. Ladies, you know how women are, they mess with the toilet paper or go through their purse if they have to do more then just pee in a public bathroom right? (which I don't really understand since we all know what they are doing). Well let me tell you men do NOT care if anyone hears them. This man was proud of himself! I have never heard anything like it and I was just about to DIE. I was not sure if I was going to bust out laughing, vomit, or cry. To make matters worse some of the other men that came in made comments like he was doing something good. This was just so different then the ladies' room.

Though that man took forever I survived and was hoping to leave my hiding place as soon as he left. Of course just as he was leaving (without washing his hands) a few other people come in. I stood there forever, wonder when the heck Brad would come looking for me.

I waited it out for about another 15 minutes until another guy came into the stall next to me. At that point I just knew I could not take another round of the male bathroom explosion. I took a deep breath and leaped to the door, I ran out of that place as fast as I could. I am not kidding you, my feet only hit the floor two times before I was out the door. I can out so fast that I ran smack into Brad who was waiting out side the ladies room. He had just sent someone in to check on me... if only he had sent them to the boys bathroom.

Anyway, that whole experience taught me a several things. However, the most important thing I learned from that event was that even though it is more convent for a guy to go pee I will stick to the girls bathroom... the guys is just plan crazy!!!!